You dont know your beautiful

Why cant I have a relationship? Like all my friends who take there relationships for granted, are just stupid. I dont understand how guys can put up with some of them. The cheating, the lying, the backstabbing, it just gets to be so much some times. I have alot of guy friends but I dont have a boyfriend. For one guys are so confusing and I never know what they want. For two most guys turn out to be douche bags. or for three we are already in the friend zone, and once you are in the friend zone thats where you will always be. I get really frustrated when my guy friends try and make a move, when they know im not okay with it. Also, I cant trust most guys because most of them use me for certain features I have. I should be proud of my body but im really not. Ive been trying so hard to be, but I feel I need to lose some weight and maybe then I can be proud. Im not proud of things that I dont work for. And letting myself get fat is not on my to-do list.