I'm going to miss you :(

I have so many things I wish I could say to you, for instance I miss you and I should have known that i was gonna lose you if I didn't step it up. I never knew how much i loved you till you were taken from me.. My heart hurts when i think about you and you going away.. I don't think I can stand it. It is just so hard to wrap my mind around it. To think just last year we spent every weekend together NOTHING could come between us you were my BEST friend :/ But I always screw everything up and hurt myself. I know I can be a bitch but its because I care SO much about you, and for some reason you can't see it... It feels like just yesterday I was over at your house laying on the couch with you and we were arguing , like usual, but I miss it. I miss your hugs, I miss your smell, I miss EVERYTHING about you. And you wont even take an hour out of your day to talk to me anymore. I'm lucky to get a text from you once a month. I don't even want to know what its gonna be like when you leave. I already cry about you leaving, but you never seem to believe me. It hurts me more then you think, I just try to hide my weaknesses cause everyone loves to put me down and make me feel like dirt. :/